Secret Suicide
by CovenantGirlLoki
Summary: Pogue had had enough. He was sick of feeling hurt and vunerable, and so he decided to put an end to the pain. Warning: Abuse, and suicide. Don't want to upset anyone who has experience abuse or a friend/family member commiting suicide please read and review


**I own Nothing**

Secret Suicide

Caleb's POV

There was something off with Pogue. But every time Caleb asked what was wrong Pogue insisted that nothing was up. But Caleb could tell that he was lying. He had been lying to him ever since the Chase incident and Caleb couldn't understand why. Pogue had been his best friend and closes brother since…well forever. He knew all of Caleb's dark little secrets and vice versa. So what was so bad that he felt the need to lie to him?

Pogue's POV

Pogue hated lying to Caleb, but he had too. There was no way he could tell him what was really going on, Caleb would freak out. Pogue remembered the three times that Caleb had really freaked out, as in massive rage freak out. And he knew that if he told him it would be fourth grade all over again. He laughed at the memory.

_He had been sitting in the tree house in his backyard sulking when Caleb had arrived, when he asked what was wrong, Pogue told him that he had been bullied by Aaron Abbot…again. Aaron used to pick on Tyler until Pogue had stepped in but it had back fired when he started bullying Pogue._

_Caleb had turned red with anger and jumped down to the ground and took off. Confused Pogue had followed. Caleb went straight to the skate park where Aaron was. He demanded to know why he was bullying Pogue, when he just laughed Caleb had tackled him to the ground and beat him until Pogue had to pull him off._

That was the first time that Caleb had snapped. It was later that day, after being yelled at by his mother that Caleb had promised him "I will always be there for you, just promise me you'll tell me sooner if some things wrong, ok?" and of course he had.

Pogue sighed. It was hard lying to Caleb, especially with the memory of his promise fresh in his mind, but he couldn't tell him…he just couldn't.

Pogue hesitated at his front door. It had been a month since Pogue's life had gone to hell. First the incident with Chase followed soon after by Kate walking out on him. Three days after that was the worst day of his life, so far. It was the day his mother died and his father had turned abusive.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door slowly. Walking in he concentrated on making his face as expressionless as possible. He knew his father would likely be in his study, 'Probably contemplating yet another reason why he hates me!' Pogue thought bitterly.

"Boy?!" called his father.

"Yeah?" he called back, not wanting to face him.

"Come here. NOW!" Pogue sighed; His father's words came in his 'that's-final' voice. He walked quickly to the study not seeing the point of hesitating; it would only make this worse.

When he reached the room he saw his father holding his report card, where it would normally say A it now said C. "What's this?"

"A report card." Pogue regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth. His father's jaw clenched and it began once more.

Caleb's POV

"Hey, is Pogue ok?" Reid whispered quietly to Caleb in second period. Caleb looked over to the one in question worriedly. Pogue sat a few metres away next to Tyler. He was slumped forward with his head resting on his crossed arms…asleep. It wasn't the first time today that Caleb had caught him sleeping in class.

"I don't know." He replied honestly. This was met by a surprised and questioning look from Reid. "His been staying at Nicky's till closing and even then he won't go home straight away. So it makes sense that his tired…" he trailed off.

"But?" Reid prodded, knowing that there was more to the story then late nights at Nicky's.

"But…there's something that his not telling us…but I don't know what." Caleb said with an annoyed sigh.

Reid just gave him an understanding smile and clapped him on the shoulder; this kind of gesture was simply unheard of from Reid. "Don't worry, I'm sure if things get too hard he'll talk." It was at that moment that the bell rang destroying the moment. "Come on time for practice."

Pogue's POV

Pogue normally loved swim practice. It was the one time that he could escape from the world around him. He didn't have to worry about school, about the power, about the covenant or about anything. It was just him and the water. But now, thanks to his father, the one thing that made feel at peace was the one thing he couldn't do.

To make matters worse the coach just wouldn't leave him alone, not understanding why the schools best butterfly swimmer (who was always the first in the pool) refused to get dressed.

But after twenty minutes of arguing he agreed to allow him to sit out this practice on the condition that he would come back after school for practice. So instead of diving into the beautiful blue water that practically called him name, he was stuck sitting on the stands watching as his brothers came first in all their races…as usual. Footsteps coming towards him caught his attention.

"Hey man we need to talk!" Pogue sighed at the tone in Caleb's voice. It was too casual.

"What about?" Pogue tried to sound as casual as possible as he fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket, avoiding Caleb's gaze.

Caleb's POV

Caleb looked down at his brother and shook his head, not that Pogue would see this, seeing as he was intent on looking at his sleeve rather than Caleb's eyes. His carefully casual tone was never a good sign either. "I don't know just life in general; I swear we haven't talking in ages." Caleb tried to keep the sorrow he felt out of his voice.

Pogue glanced up at him for a split second and despite the smirk on his face Caleb saw the pain and grief in his brothers' eyes. Caleb's own sadness must have shown on his face because Pogue quickly turned away. "Don't be stupid, we talk all the time."

Caleb sighed in frustration, "Cut the crap Pogue! You have been lying to me ever since Chase! I just want to know what's wrong!"

Pogue stood up to his full height, a mere few inches shorter than Caleb. "I don't know how many times I have to say this Caleb! I'm. Fine. Just drop it!" and with that he turned to leave, but Caleb refused to let him go that easily. Grabbing Pogue's shoulder he forced him to turn around but was severely surprised by what happened next.

Pogue did turn around…in fact he turned around and punched Caleb square in the mouth. The force of the hit sent Caleb back a few paces where he slipped on a small puddle of water. Lying on his back he propped himself up on his elbows. He tasted the metallic flavour of blood in him mouth. He looked up at Pogue with shock written clearly across his face. Pogue looked at him with a mixture of horror, guilt and anger. "I'm…sorry…" he murmured before running out.

Caleb looked around finding all eyes on him. A few metres away Reid and Tyler stood in silence. Caleb saw his own confusion reflected in their eyes, Reid so shocked that he couldn't bring himself to smirk.

Pogue's POV

Pogue was horrified by what he had just done. He felt as if the whole world was pressing down upon his very soul. He needed to escape. And so he ran.

He ran as fast and as far as his legs would physically allow him. He wasn't focusing on where he was going but when he finally came to a stop he found himself standing at the top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

The water was ruff. The current strong and unyielding. The strong sea winds push Pogue towards the edge of the cliff. Pogue looked down towards the churning blue waves. It would be so easy. All he had to do was jump.

For a long time now suicide had been in Pogue's mind. But this was the first time he had actually been in a position to do it. Even if he did survive the fall the current would assure his demise.

"Pogue stop!" a voice called from behind him. Turning on his heal he saw his brothers running toward him. Caleb was just a head of the others and was yelling for him to stop.

"Caleb? What are you guys doing here?" Pogue asked in a confused tone.

"We could ask you the same thing!" Reid called from where the other brothers stood a few meters away.

"Pogue, step away from the edge." Tyler spoke the words calmly and slowly. "Come on man, let's go down to Nikki's and have a few beers."

"Then what?" Pogue asked his tone hopeless.

The others exchanged a confused look. Caleb spoke first. "Then we go back to my place and watch a few movies."

Pogue shook his head sadly. "You guys don't get it."

"Your right we don't. Help us understand." Reid said quickly as he saw Pogue take a step closer to the edge. "What's going on? Why are you doing this?"

The tears swelled in Pogue's eyes. If he had been standing in front of anyone else he would have been ashamed but given the circumstances he couldn't bring himself to care. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be afraid to go home? To have to sneak into your room in order to avoid someone that's supposed to protect you? To have to jump from a third floor building in the morning and run through the town while being followed? Do you know what it's like to have to give up something you love so that people won't see these?" Pogue lifted his shirt, revealing the bruises that covered his body.

Caleb gasped in shocked horror. Reid's eyes burned with rage; the word murder clearly written there. Tyler looked away. The youngest brother looking as if he would be sick.

"Do you know what it's like…when your own father breaks you down…tells you you're not good enough…that you're the reason for your mother's death…that he hates you and wishes that you would just die already? Do you know what it's like when you are completely broken down and vulnerable?" Pogue hated the way his voice shook. He hated the way his brother's faces twisted with pity. "Well I do. And I don't ever want to feel that way again. I'm sorry guys, and I love you. You'll always be my brothers'. In this world…and the next." Giving them one last sad smile Pogue took a single step backwards.

A single step that sent him over the edge. As soon as he took that single step he heard his brothers' shouts. Pogue closed his eyes as an unbelievable feeling of peace overcame him. He felt a tingling in the pit of his stomach as his body fell towards the watery depths below. Suddenly a warmth surrounded him and at that moment Pogue knew…he was gone.

Caleb's POV

Caleb, Reid and Tyler stood on the edge of the cliff looking down to where their beloved brother had disappeared under the water. Tyler's tears had begun to spill from his eyes; Reid wrapped a protective arm around his shoulders. All Caleb could do was stand there, stunned, staring down. Part of him wanted to dive into the water after him. While another part of him wanted to break down, to scream to the wind until his lungs gave out.

But instead there he stood. Frozen. Without Pogue Caleb didn't know what to do. The realisation of what Pogue had just done had finally dawned on Caleb and his knees gave way as he felt the ground rush up to meet him.

Never again would he see Pogue come riding around the corner on his yellow Ducati. Never again will he be woken by a drunken Pogue at four in the morning asking him to pick him up. Caleb would never again see his brothers' smirk nor his smile. Never again will he hear Pogue's laugh, or hear him and Reid arguing over something trivial.

Never again would he see Pogue because Pogue was gone. Caleb had lost his closes friend and brother.

"What should we do Caleb?" Reid's voice cut through Caleb's depression. He looked up at his younger brothers and upon seeing them hurting Caleb knew he had to pull himself together. There would be time to mourn later. But right now Caleb had to look after them.

In a murderous tone Caleb stated:

"We pay Mr Perry a visit."

**The End**

**A/N Ok just for the record I LOVE Pogue and it took me a long time to decide whether or not to kill him but I decided for dramatic purposes I should.**

**So no flames pls**

**Don't forget to review…you know you want to**


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